Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Are You Involved In A Relationships With A Filipina?

Any man who is involved in a relationship with a Filipina needs to understand the three principle influences on his Filipina. These three principle influences are the reasons why your Filipina does what she does and behaves in the way that you may find pleasing, unattractive or a matter of further discussion. Most of these principles are somewhat familiar to Western men or foreigners, but how they are interpreted may be foreign to most men outside of the Philippines.

The three most common relationships in the Philippines are familial kinships relationships, ritual kinship relationships and something called, “utang na loob.” Familial kinship relationships involve blood relatives. Ritual kinship relationships are numerous ceremonial relationships a Filipina has to her religion, her in-laws, her school, classmates (barkadas and kabigans), her co-workers, if she has been gainfully-employed for some time and professional associations.

The utang na loob relationship is generally what confuses most foreigners who are involved with a Filipina. Utang na loob translates literally as “debt to inside” “inner debt” or translating loosely, as “being grateful.” To understand utang na loob, you have to accept that Philippines society at its foundation is a society based on granting favors and accepting favors and this helps to keep interpersonal relationships grounded in the concept of reciprocity.

It is this reciprocity that holds Philippines society together at the interpersonal level and is expected by anyone and everyone who hopes to live within this society. Through the act of giving and receiving favors, one establishes utang na loob, or becoming in debt to someone. To whom a Filipina is in debt to depends on her status in society and the status of the person she is receiving from or granting to.

Utang na loob is but one of two types of debt that a Filipina incurs in Filipina society. The difference between the two involves the amount of emotions involved. The reciprocity of granting and receiving favors that exists in the Philippines to keep relationships favorable can be broken down to these two acts: contractual and utang na loob.

We are all familiar with contractual acts that involve a written or oral agreement between the receiver and the giver, such as a contract to build a house or provide a service. In a contractual act, each person involved knows their duties and carries it out appropriately and their is generally little or no emotion involved and when the contracted act is completed, all involved go on to something else.

With utang na loob, the giving and receiving of favors may be unmeasurable depending on who is giving a favor and who is receiving a favor. The most common utang na loob is the granting of a parent to their children, such as bringing that child into this world and a debt that the child could never repay. Every child is expected to take care of their parents in their parent’s old age.

Another common form of utang na loob is the sister or brother who provides for the education of her sister or brother and then their are the utang na loob of others, such as a lawyer who frees a wrongly arrested person for an alleged serious offense or the doctor who saves a person’s life. These acts of utang na loob can never be measured or paid back, so a person is forever in debt to the giver, whose status is greater than that of their own. So, in essence, being grateful is another aspect of Philippines society.

Being grateful and being aware of the gratitude that a Filipina has for her familial kinship relationships, ceremonial or ritual kinship relationships and utang na loob relationships, should help to clarify why your Filipina acts or behaves the way she does. Say for instance, you gave your Filipina a gift and she accepts it, thanks you and walks into another room and you’re left puzzled. It is considered rude in the Philippines to open a gift in front of the person who gave it to you. If, you open a gift in front of the person who gave it to you, they may deem you to be greedy or worse yet, that you will expose the gift they gave you to everyone else looking and that the gift may not be as opulent as the next person’s gift.

Foreigners involved with a Filipina will have to be especially careful when interacting with her family, for you may have obligations that you aren’t aware of if you don’t remember the act of utang na loob and how it influences everything around you while in the Philippines and even after you leave. If, you have a problem in the Philippines, just remember to consult with your Filipina first or a well-intended foreigner who have been living in the Philippines for a number of years. Also, think about reciprocity, receiving and granting favors, familial, ritual and utang na loob relationships and be grateful that you are able to travel to and stay in the warm, friendly and beautiful Philippines.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Giving Birth In The Land Of Paradise, Consular Report of Birth Abroad

You’re in the Philippines and your significant other, girlfriend, fiancee, or wife gets pregnant from you and you want to give your child U.S. citizenship. How do you go about it?

Under current Philippines law, a child born to a Filipino/Filipina parent upon filing for and taking an oath of allegiance, establishes or regains Philippines citizenship, irrespective of where they were born.

When you’re child is born in the Philippines of a American Citizen and Filipina/Filipino, you will have to get from the National Statistics Office (NSO), a certified copy of your child’s birth certificate.

National Statistics Office, Manila

You will need to obtain from the U.S. Embassy either in Manila or the U.S. Consulate’s Office in Cebu, an Application for Consular Report of Birth Abroad, Form DS-2029. There are additional requirements that you can read at the Embassy Site.

For example, if you are not married and living in the Philippines and you have a baby with your girlfriend or fiancee, you have the additional requirement of having to produce proof of legitimation. Legitimation is essentially providing proof that a relationship existed during the time of pregnancy and afterwards. The standard of proof is similar to that of apply for a Fiancee Visa where you have to prove your relationship with correspondence letters, e-mails, photos of the two of you together, hotel receipts and any accounts that you hold jointly, etc.

You will need to file for your child’s passport (Form DS-11) and social security number at the same time you do the Application for Consular Report of Birth Abroad. You can apply for your child’s social security number at the time of their registration for a passport only if they are under 5 years of age.

You will need to gather your forms for Consular Report of Birth, DS-2029, and Form DS-11 for Application for U.S. Passport and the Application for a Social Security Card (SS-5-FS) and State Department Regulation passport photos of the child and baby pictures.

You will need the NSO certified birth certificate, your U.S. passport, a marriage certificate or proof of your relationship with the mother (or father). You will need any issued government ID’s for you and your significant other or wife. You will need proof of your U.S. residency and your proof of legitimation.

Once you got all your documents and evidence together you will need to mail everything or send by courier, to the U.S. Embassy at this address:

Citizenship and Passport Unit, American Embassy, 1201 Roxas Boulevard, Ermita, 1000 Manila.
If, you need assistant you can contact the Embassy at: (63) 2-879-4747 between 0730 and 1630 hours, Monday through Friday. The U.S. Embassy is closed on U.S. and Philippines holidays.

The Embassy Citizenship and Passport Unit will schedule a personal interview appointment in which time you and your significant other and the baby will show up. The Consular Report of Birth Abroad fees are about $65.00, but check with the Embassy to make sure there hasn’t been a fee change.

The benefit for the child is U.S. Citizenship and Philippines Citizenship. Dual citizenship is something that may appeal to most who have an intent on doing business in the Philippines and the United States in the future.

U.S. Passport (DS-11) fees are $80.00 for the passport and $25.00 service fee (execution fee). If, you get the Passport card along with your child’s passport, that is $15.00 more, or $95.00 for the passport and card, and of course the $25.00 service or execution fee. Check with the Embassy for the most current pricing, as they sometimes change without notice.

U.S. Embassy, Manila

Saturday, November 6, 2010

In Philippines, an Awkward Triangle of Pain

The Philippines, beautiful seas and the infamous urchin.  If, you’ve been in the Philippines for any length of time, at some point during your stay or visit, you may have encountered the beautiful coastal resorts, whether by 5-star accommodations or by Nipa hut.  It doesn’t matter whether you’re paying P12,600.00 ($300.00) per night for your seaside retreat or P924.00 ($22.00) per night, if, you spend any time any the Philippines actually in the water as opposed to just admiring the water, you are bound to have encountered the Philippines sea urchin.

The Philippines sea urchin isn’t the type of sea creature that you would forget easily, because the encounter is generally up close and personal.  Sure you may have taken in the native seafoods while living or visiting the Philippines, such as gambas (shrimp), pusit (squid), alimango (mud crabs), talangka (small crab), lapu-lapu (Cebuano fish), bangus (milkfish), and sea urchins.

Many people encounter the Philippines black sea urchin when they eat local foods and not know it. You may not have realized you’ve eaten sea urchins, but if you’ve eaten a fair amount of sushi during your stay or visit in the Philippines, there is a good chance that you have eaten the insides of a sea urchin.  In sushi, it is called, Uni and in Italy, it is called, Ricci di Mare.

Sea urchins are spiny and their spikes are poisonous and can cause a tremendous amount of pain when you step on them while wading around close to shore or in water that isn’t too deep.  If, you’re swimming horizontally in deep water, sea urchins are less of a concern for most, but walking to your boat, or deep water, is generally when most people encounter the sea urchin.

If, and when you do step on a sea urchin you have a number of choices to go about alleviating your pain and getting on the road to recovery quickly.  How you go about resolving your dilemma with the sea urchin, depends on how close you are to a town, city or sari-sari store.  If, you’re in the remote areas of the Philippines like Jolo, Sulu, Basilan or off the beaten path in Mindanao or Babuyan, then your treatment will seem unorthodox but effective.

If, you’re in the remote areas of the Philippines, where I find myself most of the time, you would simply get something such as tweezers or fingernail clippers and grab each spine, one-by-one and pull them out.  If, you favor something for pain before you start, the specialty in the “real” Philippines is the young coconut water drink, Tuba.  It will give you a relaxing composure before you start.  Be careful not to break the spine while its still in your skin, so take your time.

If, you’re in the jungle of the Philippines, you may find Tuba readily accessible, but the likes of vinegar or hydrogen peroxide or another antiseptic, probably impossible to find, so in that case, just use some fresh urine, preferably your own to wash down your foot or hand, after you’ve gotten out all of the spines.  Don’t worry it won’t kill you.  This was our method of antiseptic in Cambodia and Vietnam also.  Remember that when you are far away from the modern world, indigenous medicine works best.  You don’t have time for hesitation or fear, just do it.  Enjoy the lovely people and places of the Philippines and don’t forget, that a smile goes a long ways here and in all of Asia.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

How To Meet A Filipina Worthy Of Your Heart

How far would you go to satisfy the yearnings of your heart? How far would you go to meet the person who makes your heart beat? The days of looking through an agency’s catalog and sponsoring a woman to be your wife is long gone. There are some that still exist, but often their female profiles are outdated. The reality of love today is going online to explore the possibilities available and when you feel comfortable, go to country where the woman who has caught your interest lives.

Many men who visit the Philippines for the first time fall in love with the people, the culture and the country and make as many trips back as their time permits. At some point within those visits, they fall in love along the way. Here are some tips on finding a Filipina who is worthy of your heart. Beauty is as common in the Philippines as rudeness is, in some overcrowded city anywhere in the world, so focus on the internal beauty rather than what is easy on your eyes.

Don’t be put off by the frequent times you encounter a Filipina who may not speak impeccable English. You will miss the gems in the rough, if you do. Many Filipinas speak broken English, but if you are patient and willing to spend time with them to understand them, you will often find the time is well spent. English is the language of education in the Philippines and depending on how much exposure a Filipina has to other speakers of English, will probably determine her willingness and proficiency at speaking and understanding English.

You will find out most often that the Filipina who you may have hesitated in communicating with because of her broken English, in actuality speaks several languages of the Philippines. Don’t be in a hurry to rush into any relationship with anyone in the Philippines as a general rule. Take your time and get to know the woman that you want to spend your life with and more than often that means getting to meet her family too.

The Philippines like many countries in East Asia and South East Asia has a fair number of women with degrees and advance college degrees. Which surprises many men from the West. You will find that direct confrontation or meeting a single and eligible Filipina is often discourage by Asian culture. Much of it has to do with “saving face,” or avoiding having to say no. In this respect it would be much more acceptable if a foreigner wishing to meet a worthy Filipina, introduce himself thru a Filipino or Filipina friend whose opinion he trusts.

There are more than a few Filipinas wishing to meet with a foreigner for a possible long term relationship and marriage, but only if, he has references or has been recommended by someone she trusts. You will note that while you’re in the Philippines, many people will ask you about your marital status and depending on how you answer, will often make an introduction on your behalf.

You might as well get used to texting, because many of the Filipinas that you will communicate with, will want to text in the beginning and maybe even after getting to know you. Texting is an inexpensive way for most Filipinas to communicate with you and even after they feel comfortable knowing you, will probably want to continue texting, due the relative expense of voice calls. We take it for granted here in the West or back in our home country, where communicating by voice is second nature to breathing. It helps if you have a mobile phone that has a QWERTY keyboard. You can usually pick one up new for under $150.00 at your favorite wireless store once you’re in the Philippines or off of eBay for under $100. Just make sure that it will work on the GSM standard of the Philippines, which is 900 and 1800 GSM.

In honesty if you have the time to spend in the Philippines in respect to a month or two or three, you can meet a really nice and deserving Filipina. The Philippines has an abundant labor supply and the competition for employment is so great that the likelihood of the cashier you met at the mall or one of the eateries you took your lunch in all certainty has at least a college degree. The number of available jobs are scarce in most parts of the Philippines that the employer can choose the most eligible and talented worker for their positions and the college degree is generally the measuring standard.
So, in essence you are surrounded by well-educated Filipinas everywhere you go, but you just might not realize it, if you are in a hurry all the time while there.

It’s important to understand that whomever you get with in the Philippines, that you two are on the same page when it comes to understanding one another and what you expect out of life. It is easy to get blindsided by the beauty and the kindness and miss out on what’s truly important and that is that you two are compatible with one another. Now there all sorts of definitions for compatibility, but it basically boils down to what she expects out of you and what you expect out of her. You don’t want to get with someone who says one thing and when you settle down with her, becomes someone that you don’t even know anymore.

You want to get with someone who is realistic about life and your life together and with most Filipinas, that means providing something for her family too. Agree on how much you two can contribute to her family and make sure that it is something that is well within your budget or you’re going to have problems down the road that could have been avoided.

The key fellows is not to get too hung up on a Filipina’s education or lack of education. Look for common sense and intelligence. If, a Filipina is truthful with you and takes time to explain things to you, thing consider her willingness to be understood as a good sign and attribute in a Filipina.

Be especially careful when meeting with any Filipina who starts to tell you about all the drama in her life, insinuating her hardships and how she is so into you and would like to hang out with you, but her needs to be met first. A woman who asks for money either directly or indirectly, probably isn’t the woman you’re looking for. There are some women who do things for money and your intention is not to fall in love with a woman who is over zealous about intimacy.

A decent Filipina is not going to spend any time alone with you without an escort that is generally a family member. There is a chance that the Filipina you are dealing with is not who you think if she is available anytime you call her, even though she’s told you that she has a job. If, she has phone calls at odd hours of your time with her and/or she tells you that she can spend all week with you, but she will need help paying for this or that, than she is probably not the one for you.

A decent Filipina may have one or two calls on her mobile phone, while you’re out on a date, especially if it’s beyond the time, she is supposed to be back home, so expect that. If, she can spend the night with you and she has no escort with her, then maybe, she doesn’t work and maybe, you’re just someone she’s taking the time out to be with, while you’re there, but what happens when you leave?

If, you haven’t met her family yet, or she doesn’t mention or talk about her family, that may be a sign that relations between her and her family are not going well. Don’t you think you should find out why, before investing your heart? Filipinas as a general rule are particularly close to their families, so to meet a Filipina who isn’t, is strange at the least and you should find out why?

Guys, what I’m saying is, take it slow. I know that loneliness will have you do otherwise and the time you spend in the Philippines you will want to take it easy and take your time. Don’t get caught up in the excitement of the beauty all around you. Look for the woman who has the qualities you are seeking, but most of all, make sure that the two of you understand one another, because if you get that wrong, there is going to be a lot of heartache for both of you in the future. You can find the Filipina who is worthy of your attention and everything that you two are seeking in life, but you’ve got to live one day at a time. Best wishes and enjoy yourselves along the way, with the person who warms your heart.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Texting To The Philipphines

The Philippines like so many countries in East Asia and South East Asia, texting is a less-costly and efficient means of communicating in-country and abroad. Most of us in the West, would simply just grab our landline or cell phone and call up whoever we wanted to and think very little about the cost of it all, until of course we looked at the telephone bill closely.

SMS or texting is a more efficient way to go for many of us, not only because overwhelmingly that is the way the majority of cell phone users in the Philippines communicate. The cost for a voice call for most foreigners or Westerners is an expense that we could bear if we had to, but learning to send and receive texts at a fair price is a bette way to go.

Many carriers in your home country will give you international texting for a few dollars more a month and some mobile phone plans include unlimited international texting. For example Cricket Wireless will give you unlimited texting to the Philippines for $70 a month. Some have reported difficulties texting to the Philippines from the United States using AT&T’s and Verizon’s network, so you may want to avoid these two U.S. wireless carriers.

As wireless carriers go, Metro PCS is my favorite due to no-contract, no-guessing what your bill going to be, because the taxes are included in your monthly bill, so no surprises and for about $50.00 a month, you can get unlimited voice and unlimited worldwide texting.

Smart Wireless offers the USB, Plug-N-Talk that comes with a earpiece and microphone and you can purchase a load or refill in Pesos online from PlugNTalkLoad for $40.00 for the USB device and loads in various amounts. You get a SIM (subscriber identity module) card with a Smart Cell Phone number. So, when you use it from the States, the person you're calling in the Philippines, sees a local Philippines number. You plug it in to your computer and it gives you direct VOIP calls to a mobile phone in the Philippines for P7.50 to P8.50 a minute. There are no charges for receiving calls or texts to your Smart Plug-N-Talk device. Text messages are about P1.50 to P3.00 per text, depending on time of day sent.

Yahoo Messenger is a popular instant messaging platform used by many in the Philippines and allows IM from a PC or mobile phone. Yahoo Messenger is widely popular in the Philippines and most of your friends and relatives will have some familiarity with how to use it.

Chikka is an instant messenger that enables you to send free text messages to cell phones anywhere in the Philippines. There are two versions of Chikka: Version 4 allows you to text from a mobile to a mobile and Version 5 allows you to text from your PC only. It doesn’t matter if they have Globe, Smart or Sun as their carrier, it is free for them to receive your text messages.

You can even send text messages from your PC or mobile phone to someone in the Philippines, but if they were to send you a text, depending on who they have as their carrier and the time of day that they text you, the cost varies between P1.00 and 2.50 per text. Depending on how much the person you are texting needs to reply back to you, it may be cheaper for them to get a bucket of Chikkas to text you back. A bucket of Chikkas can be as low as P5 for 10 messages or P10 for 20 messages.

Many of the people whom I text in the Philippines own computers but are often away from their computers when I need to text them and then there is probably an equal number of friends when I come to the States, that don’t have computers, but have cell phones capable of receiving my texts. So, when you decide on which platform best suits you and the person you’re communicating with, bear that in mind.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Philippines Vacation, Philippine Travel, Philippines Tours

Like a tide that goes in and out, Philippine Travel feels that way sometimes. It doesn't matter whether you are taking a Philippines vacation or Philippines Tour, leaving is infinitely more emotional than arriving for most of us that travel to this South East Asian Pearl of Paradise. Each time that I land in the Philippines the excitement is palpable and my emotions run the gamut of longing to that of eagerness. Arriving is always filled with anticipation and as the days linger into weeks and weeks into months, the day comes to return to the country of my birth.

Sadness chases me as the day of departure haunts me like the sweat that baptizes you in the Mindanao heat. The long dusty and windy bus ride gave me plenty of time to reflect as to how is that I chose the Philippines out of some many countries in South East Asia and I was left with this indisputable truth that most foreign men will assert also.

There are younger women of legal age in great contrast, no only in sheer beauty, personalities, but also quantity compared to the many countries that most men migrate from to put "boots on the ground" in the lavishly splendid lands of the Philippines.

For anyone with a sense of wonderment or a taste of adventure, the Philippines massages not only the ego, but reinforces the average man's masculinity, with the frequent infectious smiles and the kind of attention that is rarely experienced in the homeland.

You can find everything that you are looking for in the Philippines, intelligence, substance and personality. You can even find the things you aren't seeking such as attitude, betrayal and rudeness. It's really up to the choices you make and your circumstances. I know that these are just partial reasons of why the Philippines is such a magnet for so men through out the world. The friendly people and the relative low cost of living if you watch your budget and the availability of quality medical care in the cities and the opportunity to pursue your dream, however you interpret that dream. I leave you with an excerpt from the Book of Curthom:

"I love the life I live and I live the life that I love and I believe everyone who inhabits this Earth, should try their best to live their dreams and even though you may have awaken to find your dreams unfulfilled, don't ever stop dreaming, just remember to share that dream with the person who warms your heart and you too will have warmth." Curthom

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Filipina & The Secret Lives of Men

Filipina and the secret lives of men. What a man wants and what a Filipina wants is ruled by this secret. A secret the Filipina knows about privately, but is hesitant to admit publicly. Denying this secret as not existing, affects what a Filipina really wants and who she winds up with? Does she just settle or wait for her ideal man? This question has been asked of every Filipina, Filipino and foreigner that I've encountered since moving to the Philippines and from what I've been told and from my own personal experiences, this is a short summary of what I believe to be true.

If, the Pinay is serious about love she is more than often looking for a man to settle down with. By settling down, this means she is looking for someone that she can call her own. You know, a man who won't sleep around and a man who will defend her honor as a woman in public and at home.

Every Filipina that I ever dated spoke about their life being on loan from God and that they were seeking meaning to their lives and if they were not in a relationship with the one they loved, then their lives were filled with emptiness and with the exception of their belief in God, had little meaning. When I was in the Filipina dating phase of my life, I found that the majority of the Pinays that I had the pleasure to hang out with were slow to anger, but my unwillingness to commit, was a deal breaker. I didn't want to chose anyone to marry while in the rebound phase of having just gone through a messy divorce. I felt it wouldn't be fair to the Filipina and it wouldn't be fair to me. Your emotions are too eager to be with someone, but for all the wrong reasons.

Some Pinays have had the unfortunate experiences of having had a boyfriend or two and failed in both relationships and when I asked why, the reason is often that the former boyfriend had another Filipina on the side. Most Filipina women give their all when they are in love and are sometimes very idealistic about love and romance, many times they deny the warning signs and rumors about their other half, until confronted with an "eyewitness account" of wrong doing and betrayal.

For the most part, a Filipina woman will forgive her wayward boyfriend and hope that whatever triggered her anger gets settled right away and she and her love can move forward. This is an act of kindness and the influence of her upbringing to forgive those who are human and commit acts that they may not approve of; a willingness to resolve any conflict soon, rather than later helps her to accept her boyfriend's shortcoming in hopes that he doesn't do whatever it was again.

Every Filipina I had the luxury of their company told me that they wanted to meet a man who was loving, caring and understanding, but oftentimes met someone who was just an option and not really serious about them or distracted by the attention of another Pinay. I will be the first to admit that their is no shortage of Filipino women looking for someone to call their own and the problem as is as I understand it and have been told by many Filipinas is that the overwhelming number of available Pinays make it too difficult for most men to restrain or refrain from committing to one woman. Now, the secret is out. Lot's of extremely attractive Pinays and beautiful Filipinas to choose among and there is no rush to do so!

This presents a serious dilemma for the average Filipina, because no matter how genuine her intentions may be, this is a fact that is often overlooked or frequently denied by most women in the Philippines. It's not that there is a shortage of eligible fellows to choose from, I've been told that it's just that the men most Filipinas encounter, understand this secret that there are many beautiful Pinays in their environment and there is no expediency to choose one. The majority of men that I have had conversations with and lived among, as what I have come to understand, simply admit that there are lots of beautiful Filipinas and that as a man, you should take your time and find a "good Filipina wife" when you're ready to settle down.

This short observation in which I have observed from my time living in Luzon, Visayans and Mindanao and living with a Filipino family and speaking frankly with numerous Pinoy and Pinay friends over the last three decades. Your experiences may be similar or totally opposite that of my own and I accept and understand that, so I hope that there were some insights about Filipina relationships, if not, why not share some of your own.

"To grow in understanding starts with a seed of patience and a fertile mind willing to accept change." Excerpt from the Book of Curthom

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Philippines House

Hotels in the Philippines run the gamut of cheap to expensive beyond belief and like many foreigners who chose to spend some part of the year or the entire year in the Philippines, choosing a comfortable and affordable house in the Philippines is essential to beating the high cost of being a foreigner in a country where there is widespread price discrimination.

Price discrimination is not the sole domain of the Philippines, but for the most part anywhere a foreigner travels throughout the East and South East Asia region. So, it helps if you have a trusted friend who can negotiate on your behalf for the essentials, otherwise look forward to paying a great deal more than you should for many things.

I settled on a Philippines house on the water, although mindful that it is now the raining and typhoon season, which is basically from June until about October of each year. Unlike living far from the coast and having to deal with large areas of land that has been completely deforested and having to deal with mudslides, here on the water, our constant look out is for the ever changing tide and high winds.

A place on stilts is idea because it protects you and your things from the swelling bay waters and the sometimes sudden ripples of water that comes in with the high winds. On a good day it is great for fishing right off your balcony or out in a small boat. This is the idea living arrangement for me during my stay in the Philippines and out of the many properties in the Philippines, it is my favorite no matter if I am staying in Luzon, Cebu, Mindanao or any of the other 7,000 plus islands. I leave you with a short excerpt from the Internationalist, Curthom.

"When I lost my way in life, my travels to the East and South East of Asia, exposed me to the philosophies of the East, which in part became my road map for life. A path as Ancient as time, but as fresh as that first step. Treking this path for half a century has given me to wisdom to know nothing and the ability to question everything!" Excerpt from The Book of Curthom.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Filipina, Is She The Perfect Partner For You?

How do you determine or not if a relationship with a Filipina is the right woman for you? Would you want to take a single Filipina as your girlfriend, fiancee or wife, how can you best decide?

If, you are at all looking to date a woman from the Philippines or from the United States or wherever you two are fortunate enough to have met, you have to consider this one belief, if you are to succeed with her and her family. Yep, that's right, you are going to have to take into consideration, the family she comes from, because if you ignore this basic truth, should you two get together in any kind of relationship, you're going to have one stressed out Filipina in the long term.

Family is as important to a Filipina, as eating rice several times a week or almost every day. It is a source of life and represents who she is and why she even exists, so a great deal of emphasis is accorded to one's family and it should be and why this astounds some Westerners or foreigners who get with a Filipina, I don't know. Let me share with everyone what I have learned from my relationship with a Filipina and much of what I'm about to share with you can be applied to a relationship in general, irrespective of your mate's ethnicity.

Some of you may be interested in an Asian woman because of the popularity of martial arts movies and some of you may have garnished an interest in Asian women from your travels throughout East Asia and/or South East Asia. However, your interest or preference for a Filipina materialized, if, you should understand what I'm about to write, you will have a challenging and yet, wonderful relationship.

First and foremost, there is no perfect person for you and you will never be a perfect person for the person you're seeking or the woman you're with. Shocking, but true. There is no perfect relationship. There is only a relationship where two people are willing to communicate, compromise and respect one another enough to allow love to flourish, in spite of their differences.

We can no more expect perfection from an imperfect mold, than we can from imperfect mothers and fathers. So, before a man and a woman enters into a relationship of intimacy, that may or may not produce a likeness of themselves (children), a man and a woman must first understand and respect, that they are imperfect.

Knowing their imperfections as a man and as a woman, will help them to proceed in their relationship to work towards a more perfect union. A perfect union is perfect only to the two people it concerns. To those looking outside of their perfect union, only imperfections can be seen and criticism, although sometimes as caustic as acid, should be deflected, just like a walk in the rain. Don't be too overly concerned about what others say, unless they too, live in a perfect union.

Life in a perfect union is one of great bliss and blessings and only those within it can feel this, first with their hearts and secondly, with their actions towards one another supporting that perfect union. Bear in mind, that even knowing that we are not perfect and we should strive to have a more perfect union with the one that we love. Don't let the drama within life cloud your judgment and force you to forget or suppress this elementary truth. Remember, no matter what we think or how we feel about someone or something, the truth always remains the truth, no matter who is interpreting it. Until the day becomes the night and the night rests, for another day, thanks for visiting. Curthom