Saturday, August 15, 2009

Jealousy & Filipino Women

Jealousy is an illness that starts deep within the psyche of a person and takes root of their heart causing untold number of emotional outbreaks and actions that are both real and sometimes violent. At its root, a jealous person is insecure about something and your mission is to find out what that something is.

If, jealousy is not treated through counseling and in the worst of cases, medicinal intervention, jealousy, like cancer can spread beyond the brain and the heart, leading to actions and reactions that are neither safe to the individual going through the episodes, but dangerous for the offending person of the jealous-enraged mind.

Jealousy if left untreated can overcome all in its path and like cancer, have detrimental effects to everyone around the person affected. You can best help someone who is only superficially jealous, that is, they murmur or backtalk about their displeasure about something that you are doing or saying that triggers their behaving seemingly irrational to what should be just a conversation.

If, you know that by saying a particular thing or mentioning a specific subject will trigger an emotional response from your fiancé or spouse, avoid talking about that particular subject or topic. Try to talk to your fiancé or spouse, as to what is it that makes them so mad and try to discover the why; it makes them so emotional or jealous.

In extreme cases, a jealous fiancé or spouse may not say anything, but react by withdrawing from you, something referred to as Tampo in the Philippines. Tampo is not unique to the Filipina, which is the act of sulking or pouting when your fiancé or spouse feels that you have hurt their feelings.

Tampo may last for a few hours, a few weeks or even a month or so, but when it lasts longer than that, there is something else going on and you should sit down with your fiancé or spouse and talk about what is it that is upsetting her.

If, she reacts in a jealous manner, try to find the cause of her feeling the way she does. The basis for the majority of jealous leanings have to do with a sense of some need not being met or a belief that there is someone else in your life, who is threatening the relationship that you two share. Find out what it is and talk about it.

If, communicating and I mean sitting down in a neutral place, that is, a place that your fiancé or spouse is comfortable with and you are comfortable with, to discuss what’s going on in her thinking or your thinking.

Being jealous, affects men as well as women, so even though this article mentions fiancé or spouse, bear in mind that men are just as jealous as women. Many men are very good at masking their jealousy, so it may seem harder to interpret. A sign that a man is jealous of his woman is that, a man will ask questions about elements of time and place. What did you do today? Where did you go today? Why did you go there? When did you go there? How long did you stay there? Who did you meet there?

A man will ask questions in order to ensure himself that he is the focus of your life and if you present yourself as being the only person that matters in the relationship, then you are going to have a problem. If, the man feels that he is the only person in the relationship and does things without consulting you, then your relationship is going to have a problem.

Let me give you an example.

When I first met my wife she was everything to me, my Alpha and my Omega. She was the reason my heart beated and the reason why I drew breathe into my lungs. I centered all of my attention around her, until 16 years later, she had grown up and decided that she did not want to be married to me anymore. She didn’t want to be married at all. She wanted to continue her affair of 4 years with a married personal injury lawyer, whom she met when she wreaked our car, four years earlier.

Throughout those 16 years, I watched her grow up from being a scared young woman, who upon her first time going to a drive-thru Kentucky Fried Chicken in the Philippines and jumping out of the taxi to run up to the drive-thru speaker to put in our order, to a woman with feminist leanings, who told me matter-of-factly, one day, that she could run up to the wall, where the two corners meet and then run into the bathroom with her cell phone and call 911 and when the police arrived, tell them that I assaulted her.

I was in awe, with my jaw gaping open, wondering where did that ideal come from, when I heard it. I couldn’t believe that the woman, who was my world, could come up with such nonsense and actually believe it. The scary part for me is, if she did run into the wall on purpose and called 911 and the police came, I would go to jail no matter how much I tried to explain the truth!

I tell this story to state this and that is, a jealous person manifest their insecurity, their rage and their actions in ways that can not always be explained in some psychological journal or themed blog, such as this. There is no way for you to know exactly what a person is going to do or when are they going to do it. You can only hope that through communication that the two of you will come to some understanding that both of you can live with, if not, then the two of you will find a way, to live with the memories, be them good or bad.

If, you have a fiancé or spouse who is jealous that may be okay, because a healthy dose of jealousy gives you two something to talk about and when you make up, it is generally quite intimate. If, the jealousy seems to you a bit overboard and you have discussed what is triggering the belief, then perhaps, marriage counseling is something that your relationship can benefit from.

People will avoid counseling sometimes because they don’t want to admit that there is a problem. No matter how much one partner tries to get the other to agree on counseling, the other partner resists or seems to sabotage the relationship. Even if only one of the partners is willing and goes to counseling, the relationship may benefit enough that the other partner may be convinced to join in. After all, it is the relationship that will suffer, but it is the people involved whose memories carry with them the times when everything was so lovely. Isn’t lovely worth fighting for?

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Sunday, August 9, 2009

Exchanging Currency in the Philippines

The question that I get asked by those who are on the way to the Philippines and those who have just arrived in the Philippines is where is the best place to exchange dollars for Pesos?

The number of Pesos that you can get for your dollars varies widely and it is worth your while not to be in a hurry to exchange any quantity of your dollars to pesos until you bear some of these suggestions in mind.

Most banks in the major cities in the Philippines would be more than happy to take your dollars for Pesos, but you may not like the exchange rate, which are generally a few pesos lower than the exchange rate that you will receive at an accredited foreign currency kiosk located in one of the malls.

M. Lhuillier Pawn Shops which are quasi-financial institutions all over the Philippines. If, you find yourself a bit of a distance from any major city, there is a good chance that you can probably find a M. Lhuillier Pawn Shop within a short travel distance.

The exchange rates at M. Lhuillier Pawn Shops aren’t that fantastic and are maybe a few pesos better than the Western Unions located in the Philippines, but it may be your only choices, depending where you are in the Philippines, when you need to do an exchange.

For those who are relatively new or in-country for the first time, I generally tell them to go to accredited foreign currency desks within the shopping malls, such as Ayala Malls, SM Malls, Gasiano Malls or the Robinson Malls, the Greenhills Mall, to name a few.

Wherever you find a rather large population of Westerners, you will find more than a few folks looking to seek their reward, and you have to be aware that some of them make their living off of cheating foreigners out of their money, so heads up!

As a general rule, you will get better exchange rates if you are exchanging $100 bills than you would if you were doing $20, $10 or $5 bills.

Always count your money at the counter, sheltering what you received as best as you can in front of you—no matter, the urgency of the exchange teller asking you to step aside in order to take the next person behind you.

Once you leave the teller window and there is a problem with the amount and you step back up to the teller, be advised that even though you are in the Philippines, you are still in Asia and the concept of saving face applies, so don’t get into a personal and loud confrontation. You may not like the outcome.

Try to limit the number of times that you have to exchange dollars to pesos, because no matter what the exchange rate is, you are going to lose money over time, due to the foreign exchange service fees.

If, you are going to be in the Philippines for more than six months at a time, it probably would be a better deal to set up a dollar and/or pesos account with one of the banks in the Philippines. You’ll need an address and the appropriate visa from the immigration for this, but you’ll benefit in the long-term.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Are Filipinas Romantic By Nature?

There are those who believe that Filipinas are romantics at heart and then there are the detractors who say that it depends on the Filipina in question. Which is it and why should you care?

Some argue that in the Philippines culture that Filipinos (men from the Philippines) are pampered and some Filipinos are not as expressive as some men in other cultures.

It is common for the the Filipina to initiate the romance at the onset of a courtship. This puts a considerable burden on the woman in Philippines society, in that if she wants to be involved with a Filipino, she has to make the first move more than often.

Some preclude that this is the reason why so many Filipinas fall for men that are more expressive and societies where men tend to be more expressive generally exist outside of Asia. There are men who still love to open doors, pull out a chair and say what they feel without reservation, but not every man realizes how much the lady of their dreams yearns for more of their attention.

Having a relationship with someone outside of the country in which she was born can lead to financial stability, flowers and chocolates and a general sense of well-being that she is the only person in the world that matters to her sweetheart.

However, the reality that not all men from the West are romantics and a desiring Filipina needs to be reminded of that fact. This is predictably easy to forget when the Filipina is involved in a long-distance relationship and it’s not until she is up close and personal that she finds out.

Some would argue that men throughout the world have been left confused as to what women want in general and what Filipinas want in particular. Without communication that is understood, each sends the other the wrong signals and that is the beginning of future drama.

Many men prefer women from Asia, but not all for the right reasons. The reason you may prefer a women from Asia, may be totally different than another person’s reason for preferring an Asian mate. There are as many reasons as there are varieties of Asian women.

What many Western men have expressed is that they prefer women from Asia because they feel that many still possess the values of loyalty and faithfulness that is often sorely lacking among women of their own culture.

More than a few Western men are from divorced parents and know first-hand how that affected their relationship with women in their lives. There is the trust issue and there is the question in the back of their minds, will I have to go through a divorce one day?

Time reveals that more than a few do and are devastated when it happens.

In many countries, many women are liberated in that they wish to have all the benefits that men have and some even act like men, so why is it a surprise when some men treat these type of women like men? So, are Filipinas romantic by nature? Maybe, maybe not! It all depends on the Filipina. They may start off in a relationship as being romantic with you and then for reasons beyond your understanding begin a long period of not speaking or interacting with you and then one day or evening, just up and leaves you for reasons that make absolutely no sense.

My advice to any man or woman looking for someone equally as romantic as themselves is to take your time and just be yourself, all by yourself, until you meet someone who likes you back enough to disturb your balance, where you find it difficult thinking about anyone else, but them. No sense in going out leading others on, when your intention is to just have fun, because everyone eventually gets hurt when you do that. As best as I have observed, love waits for nobody and time passes us all by, when we let it. Live and let live and if you are lucky in love, be grateful and reciprocate that love!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Magic Jack & Long Distance Calling

If, you believe that saving money is the same as earning money, then you are in for a pleasant surprise with Magic Jack. Configured properly, Magic Jack gives you the potential to lower your long distance to calls to practically zero dollars, beyond purchasing the hardware and service.

If, you are in the Philippines, have someone you trust, purchase a Magic Jack for you at Walmart, BestBuy or RadioShack. When you purchase your Magic Jack in the States, at that time you will receive a U.S. area code and telephone number at that time. It really doesn’t really matter what area code you finally decide on, so long as the area code you pick is a U.S. or Canadian area code, that way your calls from the Philippines to the States or Canada will be free.

If, by chance you purchased your Magic Jack locally in the Philippines, such as off Sulit

Or some other local venue, you will have to send it to the United States or Canada to get it activated with the appropriate area code and phone number.

You want to take the time to activate your Magic Jack in the United States or Canada, so that you have a U.S. or Canadian, area code and phone number, then you will not have any problems when it gets to you in the Philippines with dialing the States or Canada.

The reality of course is that the Magic Jack will work anywhere in the world where you have access to a decent Internet speed and preferably, high-speed Internet. If, you are overseas and you are able to purchase a Magic Jack, there is a good chance that all you have to do is plug it into your computer and follow the on-screen instructions, pick your area code and you will be assigned a telephone number and in less than four minutes you are ready to start making phone calls.

One thing to remember is that your Magic Jack may not work at all if you activate it overseas, such as the Philippines and you are using your address in the Philippines. In order to activate your Magic Jack in the Philippines and actually get it to work, you will need to use an address and phone number for the United States or Canada.

Whether you choose to purchase and activate your Magic Jack in the States or Canada or the Philippines, you will probably appreciate having a cordless phone to use with it. That way, you can pace about the room while you are talking.

To begin using your Magic Jack, just plug it into your computer and follow the on-screen prompts and you will be ready to start calling others in less than four minutes. Magic Jack pretty much eliminates the excuses you once had about calling your home country, so give someone you know a call!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Green Card and the Rules of Possession

If, you have the driver’s license or State ID card, is there a need to carry the green card or passport?

An Immigration Control Officer can look up your immigration status from your State ID or driver’s license, so there is no need to carry your passport around on you. You must carry your Permanent Resident Card (also know as the “I-551” Card) around with them at all times as this is required under Federal Law. Click here for more information on US Code Title 8, Section 1304 (e).

If, you are caught by immigration officials, law enforcement or any authorized officer of the federal government without your Green Card, which is incidentally no longer Green in color, if convicted you can be fined up to $100 or spend up to 30 days in jail or both.

Avoid any possible hassles while in the United States and comply with federal laws and carry your Green Card with you at all times. You don’t want to have to go through the IAFIS (Integrated Automated Fingerprint System) run by the FBI that runs your fingerprints through its nationwide database to check your criminal history and all. If, you are subject to the IAFIS and the authorized agent thinks you’re a criminal of some sort, it could delay you for about two hours, but if they think you are a civilian with reason to get your fingerprints, you could be delayed up to twenty-fours. So, avoid the disturbance of your time and carry your Green Card with you at all times.