Are You Involved In A Relationships With A Filipina?

Any man who is involved in a relationship with a Filipina needs to understand the three principle influences on his Filipina. These three principle influences are the reasons why your Filipina does what she does and behaves in the way that you may find pleasing, unattractive or a matter of further discussion. Most of these principles are somewhat familiar to Western men or foreigners, but how they are interpreted may be foreign to most men outside of the Philippines.

The three most common relationships in the Philippines are familial kinships relationships, ritual kinship relationships and something called, “utang na loob.” Familial kinship relationships involve blood relatives. Ritual kinship relationships are numerous ceremonial relationships a Filipina has to her religion, her in-laws, her school, classmates (barkadas and kabigans), her co-workers, if she has been gainfully-employed for some time and professional associations.

The utang na loob relationship is generally what confuses most foreigners who are involved with a Filipina. Utang na loob translates literally as “debt to inside” “inner debt” or translating loosely, as “being grateful.” To understand utang na loob, you have to accept that Philippines society at its foundation is a society based on granting favors and accepting favors and this helps to keep interpersonal relationships grounded in the concept of reciprocity.

It is this reciprocity that holds Philippines society together at the interpersonal level and is expected by anyone and everyone who hopes to live within this society. Through the act of giving and receiving favors, one establishes utang na loob, or becoming in debt to someone. To whom a Filipina is in debt to depends on her status in society and the status of the person she is receiving from or granting to.

Utang na loob is but one of two types of debt that a Filipina incurs in Filipina society. The difference between the two involves the amount of emotions involved. The reciprocity of granting and receiving favors that exists in the Philippines to keep relationships favorable can be broken down to these two acts: contractual and utang na loob.

We are all familiar with contractual acts that involve a written or oral agreement between the receiver and the giver, such as a contract to build a house or provide a service. In a contractual act, each person involved knows their duties and carries it out appropriately and their is generally little or no emotion involved and when the contracted act is completed, all involved go on to something else.

With utang na loob, the giving and receiving of favors may be unmeasurable depending on who is giving a favor and who is receiving a favor. The most common utang na loob is the granting of a parent to their children, such as bringing that child into this world and a debt that the child could never repay. Every child is expected to take care of their parents in their parent’s old age.

Another common form of utang na loob is the sister or brother who provides for the education of her sister or brother and then their are the utang na loob of others, such as a lawyer who frees a wrongly arrested person for an alleged serious offense or the doctor who saves a person’s life. These acts of utang na loob can never be measured or paid back, so a person is forever in debt to the giver, whose status is greater than that of their own. So, in essence, being grateful is another aspect of Philippines society.

Being grateful and being aware of the gratitude that a Filipina has for her familial kinship relationships, ceremonial or ritual kinship relationships and utang na loob relationships, should help to clarify why your Filipina acts or behaves the way she does. Say for instance, you gave your Filipina a gift and she accepts it, thanks you and walks into another room and you’re left puzzled. It is considered rude in the Philippines to open a gift in front of the person who gave it to you. If, you open a gift in front of the person who gave it to you, they may deem you to be greedy or worse yet, that you will expose the gift they gave you to everyone else looking and that the gift may not be as opulent as the next person’s gift.

Foreigners involved with a Filipina will have to be especially careful when interacting with her family, for you may have obligations that you aren’t aware of if you don’t remember the act of utang na loob and how it influences everything around you while in the Philippines and even after you leave. If, you have a problem in the Philippines, just remember to consult with your Filipina first or a well-intended foreigner who have been living in the Philippines for a number of years. Also, think about reciprocity, receiving and granting favors, familial, ritual and utang na loob relationships and be grateful that you are able to travel to and stay in the warm, friendly and beautiful Philippines.

How To Meet A Filipina Worthy Of Your Heart

How far would you go to satisfy the yearnings of your heart? How far would you go to meet the person who makes your heart beat? The days of looking through an agency’s catalog and sponsoring a woman to be your wife is long gone. There are some that still exist, but often their female profiles are outdated. The reality of love today is going online to explore the possibilities available and when you feel comfortable, go to country where the woman who has caught your interest lives.

Many men who visit the Philippines for the first time fall in love with the people, the culture and the country and make as many trips back as their time permits. At some point within those visits, they fall in love along the way. Here are some tips on finding a Filipina who is worthy of your heart. Beauty is as common in the Philippines as rudeness is, in some overcrowded city anywhere in the world, so focus on the internal beauty rather than what is easy on your eyes.

Don’t be put off by the frequent times you encounter a Filipina who may not speak impeccable English. You will miss the gems in the rough, if you do. Many Filipinas speak broken English, but if you are patient and willing to spend time with them to understand them, you will often find the time is well spent. English is the language of education in the Philippines and depending on how much exposure a Filipina has to other speakers of English, will probably determine her willingness and proficiency at speaking and understanding English.

You will find out most often that the Filipina who you may have hesitated in communicating with because of her broken English, in actuality speaks several languages of the Philippines. Don’t be in a hurry to rush into any relationship with anyone in the Philippines as a general rule. Take your time and get to know the woman that you want to spend your life with and more than often that means getting to meet her family too.

The Philippines like many countries in East Asia and South East Asia has a fair number of women with degrees and advance college degrees. Which surprises many men from the West. You will find that direct confrontation or meeting a single and eligible Filipina is often discourage by Asian culture. Much of it has to do with “saving face,” or avoiding having to say no. In this respect it would be much more acceptable if a foreigner wishing to meet a worthy Filipina, introduce himself thru a Filipino or Filipina friend whose opinion he trusts.

There are more than a few Filipinas wishing to meet with a foreigner for a possible long term relationship and marriage, but only if, he has references or has been recommended by someone she trusts. You will note that while you’re in the Philippines, many people will ask you about your marital status and depending on how you answer, will often make an introduction on your behalf.

You might as well get used to texting, because many of the Filipinas that you will communicate with, will want to text in the beginning and maybe even after getting to know you. Texting is an inexpensive way for most Filipinas to communicate with you and even after they feel comfortable knowing you, will probably want to continue texting, due the relative expense of voice calls. We take it for granted here in the West or back in our home country, where communicating by voice is second nature to breathing. It helps if you have a mobile phone that has a QWERTY keyboard. You can usually pick one up new for under $150.00 at your favorite wireless store once you’re in the Philippines or off of eBay for under $100. Just make sure that it will work on the GSM standard of the Philippines, which is 900 and 1800 GSM.

In honesty if you have the time to spend in the Philippines in respect to a month or two or three, you can meet a really nice and deserving Filipina. The Philippines has an abundant labor supply and the competition for employment is so great that the likelihood of the cashier you met at the mall or one of the eateries you took your lunch in all certainty has at least a college degree. The number of available jobs are scarce in most parts of the Philippines that the employer can choose the most eligible and talented worker for their positions and the college degree is generally the measuring standard.
So, in essence you are surrounded by well-educated Filipinas everywhere you go, but you just might not realize it, if you are in a hurry all the time while there.

It’s important to understand that whomever you get with in the Philippines, that you two are on the same page when it comes to understanding one another and what you expect out of life. It is easy to get blindsided by the beauty and the kindness and miss out on what’s truly important and that is that you two are compatible with one another. Now there all sorts of definitions for compatibility, but it basically boils down to what she expects out of you and what you expect out of her. You don’t want to get with someone who says one thing and when you settle down with her, becomes someone that you don’t even know anymore.

You want to get with someone who is realistic about life and your life together and with most Filipinas, that means providing something for her family too. Agree on how much you two can contribute to her family and make sure that it is something that is well within your budget or you’re going to have problems down the road that could have been avoided.

The key fellows is not to get too hung up on a Filipina’s education or lack of education. Look for common sense and intelligence. If, a Filipina is truthful with you and takes time to explain things to you, thing consider her willingness to be understood as a good sign and attribute in a Filipina.

Be especially careful when meeting with any Filipina who starts to tell you about all the drama in her life, insinuating her hardships and how she is so into you and would like to hang out with you, but her needs to be met first. A woman who asks for money either directly or indirectly, probably isn’t the woman you’re looking for. There are some women who do things for money and your intention is not to fall in love with a woman who is over zealous about intimacy.

A decent Filipina is not going to spend any time alone with you without an escort that is generally a family member. There is a chance that the Filipina you are dealing with is not who you think if she is available anytime you call her, even though she’s told you that she has a job. If, she has phone calls at odd hours of your time with her and/or she tells you that she can spend all week with you, but she will need help paying for this or that, than she is probably not the one for you.

A decent Filipina may have one or two calls on her mobile phone, while you’re out on a date, especially if it’s beyond the time, she is supposed to be back home, so expect that. If, she can spend the night with you and she has no escort with her, then maybe, she doesn’t work and maybe, you’re just someone she’s taking the time out to be with, while you’re there, but what happens when you leave?

If, you haven’t met her family yet, or she doesn’t mention or talk about her family, that may be a sign that relations between her and her family are not going well. Don’t you think you should find out why, before investing your heart? Filipinas as a general rule are particularly close to their families, so to meet a Filipina who isn’t, is strange at the least and you should find out why?

Guys, what I’m saying is, take it slow. I know that loneliness will have you do otherwise and the time you spend in the Philippines you will want to take it easy and take your time. Don’t get caught up in the excitement of the beauty all around you. Look for the woman who has the qualities you are seeking, but most of all, make sure that the two of you understand one another, because if you get that wrong, there is going to be a lot of heartache for both of you in the future. You can find the Filipina who is worthy of your attention and everything that you two are seeking in life, but you’ve got to live one day at a time. Best wishes and enjoy yourselves along the way, with the person who warms your heart.

Filipina & The Secret Lives of Men

Filipina and the secret lives of men. What a man wants and what a Filipina wants is ruled by this secret. A secret the Filipina knows about privately, but is hesitant to admit publicly. Denying this secret as not existing, affects what a Filipina really wants and who she winds up with? Does she just settle or wait for her ideal man? This question has been asked of every Filipina, Filipino and foreigner that I've encountered since moving to the Philippines and from what I've been told and from my own personal experiences, this is a short summary of what I believe to be true.

If, the Pinay is serious about love she is more than often looking for a man to settle down with. By settling down, this means she is looking for someone that she can call her own. You know, a man who won't sleep around and a man who will defend her honor as a woman in public and at home.

Every Filipina that I ever dated spoke about their life being on loan from God and that they were seeking meaning to their lives and if they were not in a relationship with the one they loved, then their lives were filled with emptiness and with the exception of their belief in God, had little meaning. When I was in the Filipina dating phase of my life, I found that the majority of the Pinays that I had the pleasure to hang out with were slow to anger, but my unwillingness to commit, was a deal breaker. I didn't want to chose anyone to marry while in the rebound phase of having just gone through a messy divorce. I felt it wouldn't be fair to the Filipina and it wouldn't be fair to me. Your emotions are too eager to be with someone, but for all the wrong reasons.

Some Pinays have had the unfortunate experiences of having had a boyfriend or two and failed in both relationships and when I asked why, the reason is often that the former boyfriend had another Filipina on the side. Most Filipina women give their all when they are in love and are sometimes very idealistic about love and romance, many times they deny the warning signs and rumors about their other half, until confronted with an "eyewitness account" of wrong doing and betrayal.

For the most part, a Filipina woman will forgive her wayward boyfriend and hope that whatever triggered her anger gets settled right away and she and her love can move forward. This is an act of kindness and the influence of her upbringing to forgive those who are human and commit acts that they may not approve of; a willingness to resolve any conflict soon, rather than later helps her to accept her boyfriend's shortcoming in hopes that he doesn't do whatever it was again.

Every Filipina I had the luxury of their company told me that they wanted to meet a man who was loving, caring and understanding, but oftentimes met someone who was just an option and not really serious about them or distracted by the attention of another Pinay. I will be the first to admit that their is no shortage of Filipino women looking for someone to call their own and the problem as is as I understand it and have been told by many Filipinas is that the overwhelming number of available Pinays make it too difficult for most men to restrain or refrain from committing to one woman. Now, the secret is out. Lot's of extremely attractive Pinays and beautiful Filipinas to choose among and there is no rush to do so!

This presents a serious dilemma for the average Filipina, because no matter how genuine her intentions may be, this is a fact that is often overlooked or frequently denied by most women in the Philippines. It's not that there is a shortage of eligible fellows to choose from, I've been told that it's just that the men most Filipinas encounter, understand this secret that there are many beautiful Pinays in their environment and there is no expediency to choose one. The majority of men that I have had conversations with and lived among, as what I have come to understand, simply admit that there are lots of beautiful Filipinas and that as a man, you should take your time and find a "good Filipina wife" when you're ready to settle down.

This short observation in which I have observed from my time living in Luzon, Visayans and Mindanao and living with a Filipino family and speaking frankly with numerous Pinoy and Pinay friends over the last three decades. Your experiences may be similar or totally opposite that of my own and I accept and understand that, so I hope that there were some insights about Filipina relationships, if not, why not share some of your own.

"To grow in understanding starts with a seed of patience and a fertile mind willing to accept change." Excerpt from the Book of Curthom

Filipina, Is She The Perfect Partner For You?

How do you determine or not if a relationship with a Filipina is the right woman for you? Would you want to take a single Filipina as your girlfriend, fiancee or wife, how can you best decide?

If, you are at all looking to date a woman from the Philippines or from the United States or wherever you two are fortunate enough to have met, you have to consider this one belief, if you are to succeed with her and her family. Yep, that's right, you are going to have to take into consideration, the family she comes from, because if you ignore this basic truth, should you two get together in any kind of relationship, you're going to have one stressed out Filipina in the long term.

Family is as important to a Filipina, as eating rice several times a week or almost every day. It is a source of life and represents who she is and why she even exists, so a great deal of emphasis is accorded to one's family and it should be and why this astounds some Westerners or foreigners who get with a Filipina, I don't know. Let me share with everyone what I have learned from my relationship with a Filipina and much of what I'm about to share with you can be applied to a relationship in general, irrespective of your mate's ethnicity.

Some of you may be interested in an Asian woman because of the popularity of martial arts movies and some of you may have garnished an interest in Asian women from your travels throughout East Asia and/or South East Asia. However, your interest or preference for a Filipina materialized, if, you should understand what I'm about to write, you will have a challenging and yet, wonderful relationship.

First and foremost, there is no perfect person for you and you will never be a perfect person for the person you're seeking or the woman you're with. Shocking, but true. There is no perfect relationship. There is only a relationship where two people are willing to communicate, compromise and respect one another enough to allow love to flourish, in spite of their differences.

We can no more expect perfection from an imperfect mold, than we can from imperfect mothers and fathers. So, before a man and a woman enters into a relationship of intimacy, that may or may not produce a likeness of themselves (children), a man and a woman must first understand and respect, that they are imperfect.

Knowing their imperfections as a man and as a woman, will help them to proceed in their relationship to work towards a more perfect union. A perfect union is perfect only to the two people it concerns. To those looking outside of their perfect union, only imperfections can be seen and criticism, although sometimes as caustic as acid, should be deflected, just like a walk in the rain. Don't be too overly concerned about what others say, unless they too, live in a perfect union.

Life in a perfect union is one of great bliss and blessings and only those within it can feel this, first with their hearts and secondly, with their actions towards one another supporting that perfect union. Bear in mind, that even knowing that we are not perfect and we should strive to have a more perfect union with the one that we love. Don't let the drama within life cloud your judgment and force you to forget or suppress this elementary truth. Remember, no matter what we think or how we feel about someone or something, the truth always remains the truth, no matter who is interpreting it. Until the day becomes the night and the night rests, for another day, thanks for visiting. Curthom

Jealousy & Filipino Women

Jealousy is an illness that starts deep within the psyche of a person and takes root of their heart causing untold number of emotional outbreaks and actions that are both real and sometimes violent. At its root, a jealous person is insecure about something and your mission is to find out what that something is.

If, jealousy is not treated through counseling and in the worst of cases, medicinal intervention, jealousy, like cancer can spread beyond the brain and the heart, leading to actions and reactions that are neither safe to the individual going through the episodes, but dangerous for the offending person of the jealous-enraged mind.

Jealousy if left untreated can overcome all in its path and like cancer, have detrimental effects to everyone around the person affected. You can best help someone who is only superficially jealous, that is, they murmur or backtalk about their displeasure about something that you are doing or saying that triggers their behaving seemingly irrational to what should be just a conversation.

If, you know that by saying a particular thing or mentioning a specific subject will trigger an emotional response from your fiancé or spouse, avoid talking about that particular subject or topic. Try to talk to your fiancé or spouse, as to what is it that makes them so mad and try to discover the why; it makes them so emotional or jealous.

In extreme cases, a jealous fiancé or spouse may not say anything, but react by withdrawing from you, something referred to as Tampo in the Philippines. Tampo is not unique to the Filipina, which is the act of sulking or pouting when your fiancé or spouse feels that you have hurt their feelings.

Tampo may last for a few hours, a few weeks or even a month or so, but when it lasts longer than that, there is something else going on and you should sit down with your fiancé or spouse and talk about what is it that is upsetting her.

If, she reacts in a jealous manner, try to find the cause of her feeling the way she does. The basis for the majority of jealous leanings have to do with a sense of some need not being met or a belief that there is someone else in your life, who is threatening the relationship that you two share. Find out what it is and talk about it.

If, communicating and I mean sitting down in a neutral place, that is, a place that your fiancé or spouse is comfortable with and you are comfortable with, to discuss what’s going on in her thinking or your thinking.

Being jealous, affects men as well as women, so even though this article mentions fiancé or spouse, bear in mind that men are just as jealous as women. Many men are very good at masking their jealousy, so it may seem harder to interpret. A sign that a man is jealous of his woman is that, a man will ask questions about elements of time and place. What did you do today? Where did you go today? Why did you go there? When did you go there? How long did you stay there? Who did you meet there?

A man will ask questions in order to ensure himself that he is the focus of your life and if you present yourself as being the only person that matters in the relationship, then you are going to have a problem. If, the man feels that he is the only person in the relationship and does things without consulting you, then your relationship is going to have a problem.

Let me give you an example.

When I first met my wife she was everything to me, my Alpha and my Omega. She was the reason my heart beated and the reason why I drew breathe into my lungs. I centered all of my attention around her, until 16 years later, she had grown up and decided that she did not want to be married to me anymore. She didn’t want to be married at all. She wanted to continue her affair of 4 years with a married personal injury lawyer, whom she met when she wreaked our car, four years earlier.

Throughout those 16 years, I watched her grow up from being a scared young woman, who upon her first time going to a drive-thru Kentucky Fried Chicken in the Philippines and jumping out of the taxi to run up to the drive-thru speaker to put in our order, to a woman with feminist leanings, who told me matter-of-factly, one day, that she could run up to the wall, where the two corners meet and then run into the bathroom with her cell phone and call 911 and when the police arrived, tell them that I assaulted her.

I was in awe, with my jaw gaping open, wondering where did that ideal come from, when I heard it. I couldn’t believe that the woman, who was my world, could come up with such nonsense and actually believe it. The scary part for me is, if she did run into the wall on purpose and called 911 and the police came, I would go to jail no matter how much I tried to explain the truth!

I tell this story to state this and that is, a jealous person manifest their insecurity, their rage and their actions in ways that can not always be explained in some psychological journal or themed blog, such as this. There is no way for you to know exactly what a person is going to do or when are they going to do it. You can only hope that through communication that the two of you will come to some understanding that both of you can live with, if not, then the two of you will find a way, to live with the memories, be them good or bad.

If, you have a fiancé or spouse who is jealous that may be okay, because a healthy dose of jealousy gives you two something to talk about and when you make up, it is generally quite intimate. If, the jealousy seems to you a bit overboard and you have discussed what is triggering the belief, then perhaps, marriage counseling is something that your relationship can benefit from.

People will avoid counseling sometimes because they don’t want to admit that there is a problem. No matter how much one partner tries to get the other to agree on counseling, the other partner resists or seems to sabotage the relationship. Even if only one of the partners is willing and goes to counseling, the relationship may benefit enough that the other partner may be convinced to join in. After all, it is the relationship that will suffer, but it is the people involved whose memories carry with them the times when everything was so lovely. Isn’t lovely worth fighting for?

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How To Overcome Culture Shock With Your Filipina

There is no way to avoid culture shock, but you can make the transition easier for your mate by understanding what culture shock is. First and foremost, culture shock is misunderstanding the environment that you find yourself in. You misunderstand the environment because it is not familiar to you and this unfamiliarity leads you to be at ease at best and anxious and disoriented, at its worse. Here’s is how to lessen the degree of culture shock that you or your mate is likely to experience.

Culture Shock is a lack of knowledge about a place that seems alien to you and to overcome feeling like an alien, you must be willing to learn as much as you can about the place you’re going or find yourself in. You commit to trying to understand the place you find yourself and the anxiety will pass with time, but it really helps if you have someone who is native to the location to help you with the transition.

Your friends, girlfriend, finance or wife can be a tremendous asset when it comes to helping you to understand the environment that seems to different to you. You will find that people are more than willing to assist you, when they see that you are genuinely trying to adjust and adapt to their culture. Don’t be afraid to discover a new language, customs and foods.

If, you have yet to arrive in the Philippines, reading books about the Philippines is a good start and if you can locate a language course in Tagalog in your home country, you’re off to a good start. Locating literature about the Philippines is generally not a problem, but oftentimes, I hear others stating that they have difficulty locating a language course in the local Philippines language.

One of the best publications out there that I recommend to everyone who is going to the Philippines is authored by Alfredo and Grace Roces called, “Culture Shock! Philippines: A Survival Guide To Customs and Etiquette.” This paperback book will help you to understand some of the things that may irritate you, but are deeply rooted in the culture. A source for learning Tagalog, the principle language of the Northern Philippines is Rosetta Stone. Rosetta Stone approach to language learning is highly-effective if you put the time in. Rosetta Stone courses are a bit pricey, so shop around for the best deal.

There is considerable “murmuring,” which is talk about the foreigner, when you are in the Philippines. The “murmuring” is not meant to hurt your feelings or anything like that, but you have to understand that many people in the Philippines are a curious bunch and some like to comment on the things they see. It could be talk in a language that you do or do not understand and often followed with subdued or boisterous laughing. Don’t take it personal. After some time in the Philippines, you will find yourself engaged in such “murmuring.”

There is another type of “murmuring” that you will come to know if you are serious about a Filipina and that is “tampo.” When you hurt your love one’s feelings, she will all likelihood stop talking to you for hours, days or weeks, depending how bad you hurt her feelings. She may too just get up and take off to her friends (barkadas) or relative’s house if they live close by.

Remember how confusing things get when you’re together or away from each other, communication is just one aspect of understanding each other. You two will need to sit down and discuss the things that each of you are misunderstanding, so that there will be less “tampo” on her part and less frustration on your part.

She is going to need the emotional support that she had back home in the Philippines and for those fellows who are living in the Philippines, life is got to be good. There is a good chance that when your fiancé or wife was in the Philippines, she was constantly in the realm of many family members and she felt safe. Well, when she comes to your home country, she is going to miss those family members and depression and home sickness could set in, so fellows, give her the emotional support that she expects from you

Understand that the although many people in the Philippines speak English and English is widely-used in the government and schools, Philippine English and the English that you speak, although pronounced almost the same, may have a wide and varying meaning than what you think. So, learn to adapt to your fiancé’s or spouse’s English and when you’re not sure of why she suddenly became silent, just ask her politely. The informal English, or slang that we speak when we are comfortable around others, can easily be misinterpreted and feelings hurt in the process.

You want to avoid any type of public confrontations of any sort. If, you and your lady are having a disagreement about something, it’s wise to find a private place to discuss it. You don’t want to raise your voice anywhere in Asia, as this is a sign of not being “composed,” or in “harmony” with the group. Asia, by and large is a “group-oriented” society and the Philippines is no less “group-oriented.” So, don’t be surprised if you invite the love of your life somewhere while you’re there and she shows up with an escort or a relative or two or three.

You’ll do well in the Philippines if you come to learn of the notion of “amor-propio.” Amor-propio is the sense of pride that every person of Philippines is taught to respect in themselves and others who are family. This sense of pride extends to the person in a way that protects the honor of the individual and choices are made regarding amor-propio, oftentimes based on whether the person’s actions will bring shame to themselves and dishonor their family and especially, the family name. Never underestimate the influence and power of amor-propio. Amor-propio is a bit like the expression “saving face,” but on steroids!

There is another aspect of Philippines Culture that is sometimes overlooked and that is the concept of “Delicadeza.” Delicadeza concerns itself with the moral certainty of knowing what is good and what is bad, what is right and what is wrong. It is the unspoken “moral compass” that exists in everyone and when you have violated this moral righteousness, you are immoral and should take it upon yourself to correct your wrongs. For example, in the town that I lived in Davao del Norte, there was a certain politician whom the locals murmured about constantly, stating that the politician was invisible, because no one had seen him in quite some time, yet he collects his salary and miraculously, he’s always getting re-elected. According to delicadeza, the proper thing for the politician to do is either show up more in his province, to let the people see that he is concerned about their issues, or resign from office and let someone who is more attune to the needs of the people run for his office

Then there are the indigenous tribes of the Philippines who live in the mountains, remote villages and costal areas who have a set of traditions that may or may not be aligned or the same as the general population of the Philippines and you will have to learn their ways if you wish to coexist. If, you approach everything that you do while you’re in the Philippines with an open mind and don’t be too hurried to rush to judgment, you’re going to have a great time staying, living and/ or visiting the Philippines.

Know that you will be excited, surprised and emotionally overwhelmed at the sheer beauty of the Philippines, starting with its people. Don’t spend all your time indoors in some fancy hotel or in some air conditioned taxi or tour bus. Get out and enjoy the natural wonderment, the food, the customs and the habits that will become as acceptable as they were once foreign to you. When you’re comfortable, meet her family, her friends and if at all possible, go to the village where she grew up or once lived, it will go a long ways to you understanding her life and expectations.

Remember that as foreign as the Philippines may seem when you first get there, if you take the time to understand that the culture may be different than what you’re accustom to, your open mind makes the adjustment easier for you and you accept the fact that you have to be immensely flexible, because you will find that things happen without much notice sometimes. If, you like spontaneous happenings, you will love the Philippines, because the feeling of never really knowing what’s going on, adds to the excitement of it all. Relax and enjoy yourself, and as far as your fiancé or wife coming to your home country, just picture her as the person adjusting to a new place and show your support by letting her know everyday that you understand.

The thing that I probably hear most from many men who visit the Philippines and return home after three weeks or so, is how much people stared at them. Well, I can tell you from living all over Asia, that people are naturally curious everywhere and staring although not particularly polite in most Western Societies, is common just about everywhere else on the Planet. You’ll get use to the staring and if, you are outside as much as you should be, you’ll find yourself staring too!